Maxx through Blake's eyes

THROUGH ANOTHER'S EYES – CHARACTER MEME

INTRODUCE YOURSELF

01 – What's your name?
Blake Sabatini

02 – Are you male or female?
Male.

03 – What age are you?
26

04 – Describe yourself.
I’m a lone wolf. I like to spend most of my time alone and with only a select few. I have a low tolerance for bullshit, and don’t care for small talk, or beating around the bush. I like to get things done in the most efficient way possible.

05 – What do you do for a living?
I work as a landscaper for a living.

06 – Choose five words that describe your personality
Practical, reserved, loyal, level-headed, and blunt.



INTRODUCE YOUR SUBJECT

07 – What is their name?
Maxwell Malone. He’ll have a temper tantrum if you call him that though, but I don’t give a fuck. I call him ‘Jester fuck’ or ‘Booze-o-the clown’ for good measure. If he’s going to disrespect Brad and I, why should I respect him?

08 - How do you know them?
He’s my brother’s “friend”. *groans*

09 – Describe them in three sentences.
He’s the epitome of what your parents don’t want you to grow up to be. He’s hopeless, directionless, and a pathological liar. He never cleans up after himself, or cleans himself much at all. He’s a self-absorbed narcissist that uses people and only cares about himself.



PHYSICAL TRAITS

10 – Are they male or female?
He’s male, and he makes sure everyone knows it by stuffing a sock down his pants, and thrusting it in their face. I wish I was joking.

11 – How old are they?
He’s mentally 3-years-old, but says he’s 21-years-old, even though his passport says he was born in 1965, which would make him 24-years-old. That’s only ONE of many lies he tells people.

12 - Describe them
A fucking mess! He looks like someone doused him with orange paint, and then he fell into a pile of clown’s clothes. I don’t understand how anyone could think they look “sexy” like that, but he seems to think he does for whatever reason. I don’t know what goes on in his fucked up head.

13 – Do they have any distinguishing features; scars or tattoos?
*Laughs* Yeah, that stupid fake tramp stamp tattoo of that pink snake. It’s supposed to be a sexual innuendo, of course. It should be an orange snake, but whatever. I don’t even want to think about that... Anyway, he has the nerve to brag to me, with my sleeve tattoo, about his “real” tattoo. How stupid does he think I am? I have a real tattoo and know a fake tattoo when I see one.

14 – Are they fit; Athletic. Do they do any sports?
Pfft, no, there’s nothing on him. I can easily throw him like a rag doll. The only sport he does is running away from me, when he pisses me off, and he can’t run very well.

15 – What about Illnesses, War Wounds or Physical Disabilities?
It seems that Maxx was born without a brain.



SKILLS AND ABILITIES

16 - What would you say is their best ability?
It never ceases to amaze me how quickly he can mess up the house. I leave a tidy home and come back to a war zone.

17 - What do they think their best ability is?
He thinks he’s this musical prodigy and casanova. He is neither of these things, very far from it. No woman in their right mind would go near a dirty pervert like him, and he always has some excuse why he can’t sing or play his guitar. I know he’s full of shit and I enjoy grilling him on his bullshit, and making him squirm in front of Brad.

18 - What else are they good at?
He’s good for throwing out the window.

19 - What are they not good at?
It would be more efficient for me to write a list of things he’s good at, rather than things he’s not good at, otherwise we’ll be here all day, and neither you nor I have the time or patience for that. To give a brief summary: Maxx is not good at lying, but thinks he is, but he’s not fooling anyone. Brad knows he’s lying, but gives him the benefit of the doubt too much. Which brings me to my next point: Maxx is also terrible friend. Everything revolves around him, and he’s just using Brad for his hospitality. Brad should charge him for his shit, or kick him out!

20 - Do they have any artistic talent?
No. His handwriting is a complete mess. He designed his own band t-shirts, and did so when he was drunk, on a napkin, and he didn’t even spell ‘Sex Beest’ correctly, so it reads as ‘Sex Bees’. You can only imagine the mockery he deals with over that, and good. He deserves it.

21 - What about Musical Ability?
Well, like I said, he always makes excuses to cover up his pathological lying about being a rockstar. I heard him sing in the shower, and I thought one of Brad’s cats was in heat or something. It was god awful. It’s a blessing he keeps making excuses not to sing. No one should ever hear that.

22 - Are they good at a particular sport?
No.

23 - What about combat; can they fight?
*laughs* No. Brad could easily beat him up, and I wish he would.

24 - Do they have any... powers or abilities you would describe as supernatural or superhuman?Well, Maxx has pissed off a lot of people and had his fair share of beatings, it’s a miracle he’s still alive.


PERSONALITY AND INTERESTS

25 - If you had to choose one word to describe their personality; what would it be?
Despicable.

26 - Can you expand on that?
Maxx is loathsome with his appalling treatment of others, his stink, his objectification of women, and his string of bullshit lies. He’s completely unlikeable with no redeeming qualities to him. Not only do I find him loathsome, I also find him fucking annoying too!

27 - What do you like best about them?
I don’t like anything about him. Unlike Brad, I don’t believe everyone has good in them. Some people just don’t, and Maxx is one of those people.

28 - What personality trait or behaviour particularly gets on your nerves?
In other words: What pisses me off the most about him? That would be treating Brad like shit, after everything he does for him. He’s an ungrateful little shit.

One night, Maxx and Brad come home from a club and Maxx was having a tantrum because Brad had allegedly scared off some women he was chatting up, and the little shit had the nerve to say it was because of his weight. Before I could say anything--and to my surprise, Brad actually called him out on his shit, saying they were talking to him, and Maxx was being a creep to them, which is why they left. Yeah, no shit.

Maxx then has the fucking audacity to pull the “How dare you blame me?! After everything I’ve done for you?!” card, and punches the wall. Ohhhh, I lost my fucking shit and I grabbed the fucker by his scarf and slammed him into the wall!

29 - Are they sociable; do they mix well with others?
No. Maxx may be outgoing, but he’s not sociable. Those things are not always one in the same. Maxx doesn’t care about other people and he doesn’t understand how people work. He has no idea how to deal with people. Nobody likes him. I don’t even think Brad likes him, I think he just pities him. I can tell he gets annoyed by him, but is too polite to say so. He’s a lot like mum.

30 - Do they dress well? Are they Fashionable?
Absolutely not! I already explained this in question 12. Perhaps this should have been tied into that question.

31 - What would you say is important to them?
Himself. Maxx only cares about himself and nobody else.

Do you know of any deep, dark secrets they keep buried?
Maxx can’t lie to save his life, so he sure as shit couldn’t keep a secret buried. I know damn well he’s a virgin because he tries so hard to convince us that he’s not. Why the fuck else would he moan along to a clip of a woman’s orgasm in his bedroom, acting as if he has a real woman in there with him? He’s not fooling anybody.

32 - Would you want them as an enemy; What sort of enemy would they make?
It would be one-sided, as he’d be completely stupid to want to fuck with me. I can easily put him in a coma.


YOUR RELATIONSHIP

33 - How did you first meet?
Well, I was sitting at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper, when suddenly this scrawny man in a leopard print G-string entered the kitchen. He caught me off guard, and I thought he was an intruder--a junkie or something, because who the fuck walks around like that?

I pinned him against the wall and his demeanour changed from cocky to scared, he just about wet himself. I told him to tell me who he was and what he was doing in my house, and you know what his response was? “How could you not know who I am?! I’m the famous rockstar, Maxxy Malone of Sex Beest!” ...I-i was just stunned and at a loss for words. Brad then rushed into the room when he heard the commotion and explained to me that this man was a hitchhiker “friend” he brought back with him last night. Ohhh, you bet I was livid!

I took Brad aside and had a word with him about the obvious unwanted elephant in the room, which caused an argument between us, then said elephant had the nerve to wedge itself between us and our conversation. Yeah, I hated that fucker from the moment I first met him. Brad brought home a piece of dog shit on his shoe that day that would never leave. I just hope Brad learns from this. Why must he always learn things the hard way, and never think things through?! Drives me insane.

34 - Are you friends?
Not a chance in hell.

35 - Are you rivals?
No. He likes to think we are when it comes to Brad. I’m a threat to him because I see right through his bullshit and point it out to Brad.

36 - Are you Lovers?
Fuck no!

37 - Do you love them?
No.

38 - Do they love you?
No!

39 - Who, if anyone, do you think they are in love with?
Himself. I’ve never met anyone so self-absorbed.

40 - Are they currently in a relationship?
With his hand.

41 - Do you like them?
No, and that’s an understatement.

42 - Do they like you?
No, and the feeling is more than mutual.

43 – How do you think they feel about children?
Maxx should never breed.

44 - What about their family?
Apparently, he grew up in the slums of LA, and his family neglected him, but I don’t believe that. He acts like someone who was handed everything on a silver platter, and I suspect he had a spoiled upbringing. There’s also that his name is Maxwell Malone. Maxwell Malone was the Mayor of Swanton in the 50s and 60s, and Maxx bears a physical resemblance to him. I suspect Maxx is his Grandson. If his parents had Maxx later in their lives, it would add up.

You would think being a mayor’s grandson and coming from an aristocratic family would be what he would lie and brag about, rather than the other way around with him growing up in the slums. The only logical reason I could think of for Maxx living a lie as a poor man, is to garner sympathy and emulate other rock stars who had it rough like Vivienne Vivacious. Maxx however, has not had it rough and that’s plain to see in the way he carries himself and feels entitled to everything.

45 – And finally. If you could change one thing about them, what would it be?
Oh boy. I don’t think Maxx will ever change. There’s no good in him, and he’s stuck in his shitty ways. Brad believes he can change and wants to help him, but frankly, he’s wasting his time and hurting himself in the process. The best thing would be for Maxx to just go away, or drop dead.